It’s the day I’ve been dreading since October 8th of last year. In 4 hours I turn 20. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. One side is me is saying “yay! 20!”, but the other side, the much louder and stubborn side is saying “20?! 20!!? WHAT?! How can this be happening?!” It’s pretty scary to think that my teen years are over. I don’t know where all the time went! I sometimes think back and wonder if I was ever really a teenager. I never drank, smoked, any of that stuff that the “typical” teenager at least experiments with. I don’t regret not doing any of it, I don’t feel like I missed out on anything, but at the same time, I feel like the opportunity to be able to experiment with stuff like that and get away with it has passed. Heck, in 366 days I’ll be able to buy alcohol legally…where’s the fun and experimentation in that? It’s not that I WANT to do any of that, I’m perfectly content with how I’ve led my life thus far, but at the same time, it’s almost bittersweet that that portion is over.
I’ve been basically freaking out about turning 20 all year. In the beginning I would cringe any time someone even brought up the subject. Then I went to RYLA and mostly all of the counselors there are in the 20s. They’re not all that different that I am right now, so who’s to say that entering my 20s is going to be such a terrible, traumatic event? The 20s are a great decade in most people’s lives. It’s the decade that you graduate college, get your first apartment, your first job. Most people meet their future spouses, some even get married and have kids. In terms of “major life events” the 20s is almost as eventful as the 0-10 decade. How can that not be fun?
I really can’t believe how quickly these years have gone by. Every once in a while I’ll catch myself thinking back to 6th grade, 4th grade, 2nd grade, and realize “wow…that was a REALLY long time ago!”. It’s been 8 years since I was in 6th grade! 8 years! It feels like yesterday. High school is just a blur in my memory. Although they were 4 very important years for me, it feels like they’re ancient history now. I hope the 10 years between now and when I turn 30 don’t feel as quick as the years between when I turned 10 and now did.
I’m now at the point in my life when I can say things like “when I was a kid” or “back in the 90s” or even *gasp* “when I was your age…”. It’s a bit unnerving, let me tell you! I’m at the point where I’ve had some friends for decades. My oldest friend and I have been friends for 16 years! I don’t FEEL older. I mean, sometimes I realize that I’m getting older, like when I see a bunch of HS freshman “hanging out” on a corner at like 11PM just because they can (like last night) and want to just scream out the car window “Hey kids…go home and read a book or something!” But at the same time, I’m just as much a kid as I was when I was 8! Granted I don’t spend my days playing with dolls or stickers, but I still love and enjoy “the little things.” I’m just as content sitting with a coloring book some crayons as I was when I was in kindergarten. I’m not older, I’m just wiser. :)
Even with all of these reservations, I’m still a bit excited about what’s to come in these next few years. Hopefully this blog will stay with me throughout my years as a “20 something”.
Until next time…