I can’t tell how many hits I’ve gotten on searches for “snowman poop”. All from an entry I wrote back in my senior year of high school. Many of those hits are promptly followed by an email asking for more detail. So here it is, once and for all, the story of Snowman Poop.

As President of my high school Student Council back in 2004-2005, one of the ridiculous ideas I had was to use snowman poop as our holiday “candygram”/fundraiser. After convincing the administration that it was completely harmless (it helps when you’re on good terms with them to begin with), we got to work.

It was an incredibly simple fundraiser. Basically, you filled out the order form which asked for your name (it could be anonymous) and the name and homeroom of the person you wanted to send it to and paid for your poop. Then on delivery day, we would bring it to that person’s homeroom. Our supplies consisted of:

  • Lots and LOTs of bags of mini marshmallows
  • mini snack bags (they’re about 3″x6″)
  • ribbon
  • hole punchers
  • printer paper
  • a printer
  • plastic sanitary gloves
  • red pens

We decided on 12 marshmallows per bag. I think our logic was the 12 days of Christmas? I can’t really remember that part, but it was enough to look like the bag was full without going overboard. We printed, cut, and hole punched the tags for the bags which had the following poem and an accompanying clip art of a snowman:

“We heard you’ve been naughty

so here’s the scoop:

For the holidays this year,

you’re getting snowman poop!”

Then came the fun part. Stuffing the bags.

It took our council of about 14 people (I think?) about 2-3 days to stuff them all, spending about 4 hours/day. It was a bit of an assembly line process: a few people stuffed, a few people tied the ribbons and tags around, 2 people wrote the names and homerooms on the tags, and another organized them into paper bags to be delivered to the homerooms.

We sold them for $0.50. A dollar would have been far too expensive, and the low cost really drove up sales. Some homeroom teachers bought them for their entire homerooms. It went over extremely well – if memory serves correctly, we raised over $3,000, which is the equivalent of over 6,000 orders of poop in a school of about 3,500 students. On the last school day before winter break, we donned santa or elf hats or reindeer antlers and delivered them to each homeroom. They were a hit. Let me tell you – it was absolutely hysterical hearing the principal and superintendent talk about poop. I still laugh about it today.

So there you have it, the story of snowman poop. Good luck with your marshmallow endeavors. That word was banned from our meetings for the rest of the year. Too many marshmallows for one lifetime. Enjoy!