As much as I’d like to deny it, I still have one year left of school and that year begins in just over a month. Ick.
On one hand, I’m really not looking forward to leaving San Francisco again and heading back to Ithaca where it’s cold, dreary, and miserable. Don’t get me wrong, I like Cornell. I even miss it a little. But the sheer thought of having to battle it out with the weather, (some) of the people, and then academics? It’s just not appealing to me this time around. I want to go back and see my friends and get back to work on the Sun, but everything else? No thanks.
Then there’s the other hand. I guess it’s my more optimisitc hand because that one can’t wait to get back. It can’t wait to get back to the apartment I’ve come to call home, to the little things like my bed, my car and strangely, the intellectual stimulation. That’s right, I said it. Turns out I actually like the whole “learning stuff” nonsense. Who knew? I just don’t like taking exams.
I’m pretty conflicted actually – do I want to stay in Information Science and have one more year of beating my head into a desk because it all seems so obvious? Or do I want to risk having to stay an extra semester or two and shifting gears to something like Science and Technology Studies? The latter isn’t nearly as technical, but then again I don’t really plan on being all that technical in my future and, most importantly, I don’t really think I learn code very well in a classroom.
On top of that there’s the fact that it’s decision year – do I go to grad school? Or do I get a job and possibly go to grad school later? If I go the job route – where is it going to be? What the heck do I want to do exactly? While I have a pretty good idea of where I’d like to be this time next year, there’s still the matter of actually making it into a reality.
With all of that in mind, I’m trying to compartmentalize. I’m trying to focus on coming to terms with the fact that I do indeed need to go back to school in August and that I need to kick it into gear for one final sprint to the finish. I’ve always been one to excel under pressure – and the pressure is definitely on – so I’m hoping this will be no different. 306 days until I could be walking into Schoelkopf in my cap and gown. “Eye on the prize.” I just have to keep telling myself that.
I have a lot that I’d like to do once I get back to school. I want to get myself into full-on buckle-down-until-you-make-the-deans-list mode. This includes getting rid of a lot of the distractions. I’m planning to cut my involvements down to just the Sun and maybe one other activity, a single job (no more working 2-3 at any given time…), and school. It’s just one more year. I can handle not being the queen of activities for a single year, right? hmm…
My plans are actually pretty specific and involve putting a lot of what I read about in all of those productivity blog and “zen” of this and that into action. You thought I was organized before? Ha! Just wait! More on that later though. This is getting to be far too long :)
Until next time…